#SOC Sunday: I took on too much this year.

I took on too much this year.

And this week I finally crash and burned.  

Today I accused Chris of sucking up the Internet and yelled at him to get off so I could take a Poli-Sci exam and then I cried something ridiculous.  Babies don't even fake cry like I did.  I don't even know wtf I was even crying for.  He looked at me like I was crazy and I don't blame him.  I calmed myself down, was a whole lot embarrassed to be so dramatic and attempted to take the exam and 10 questions in - I closed the tab.  Me, all me.  No one to blame but myself.  And then I really cried.  Tears and tears.  Like wtf am I doing.  Why did I do this to myself.  TAKE ON SO MUCH.  

Homeschooling, full-time college course load, blogging and event planning all together with running a family with a baby!  Coupled with the fact that the NHL lockout is hurting us financially (Chris is only working part-time, I went on a one year leave of absence till September 2013) and the Holidays are looking grim.  I just had enough of EVERYTHING (Election anxiety, Sandy, money worries, deadlines).  Took on too much.

Everyone makes homeschooling look easy... Duke is a fast learner but I don't think I'm just teacher material.  I know, I know.  I've reinforced the theory that parents are every kid's first teacher and I truly believe it but I'm not made for creating curriculum, developing ideas and following through.  It is hard to stick to the plan of a homeschool day with a cute baby.  Duke and I would start off on schedule and then I'd have to stop teaching to feed Omar and then Duke would want to kiss and play with him.  How can I say no?  I got sucked into laying around with the baby too.  It's a wonder how we got any work done!

This much I know, I'm looking forward to Winter break.


NaBloPoMo November 2012

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raised by culture: #SOC Sunday: I took on too much this year.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

#SOC Sunday: I took on too much this year.

I took on too much this year.

And this week I finally crash and burned.  

Today I accused Chris of sucking up the Internet and yelled at him to get off so I could take a Poli-Sci exam and then I cried something ridiculous.  Babies don't even fake cry like I did.  I don't even know wtf I was even crying for.  He looked at me like I was crazy and I don't blame him.  I calmed myself down, was a whole lot embarrassed to be so dramatic and attempted to take the exam and 10 questions in - I closed the tab.  Me, all me.  No one to blame but myself.  And then I really cried.  Tears and tears.  Like wtf am I doing.  Why did I do this to myself.  TAKE ON SO MUCH.  

Homeschooling, full-time college course load, blogging and event planning all together with running a family with a baby!  Coupled with the fact that the NHL lockout is hurting us financially (Chris is only working part-time, I went on a one year leave of absence till September 2013) and the Holidays are looking grim.  I just had enough of EVERYTHING (Election anxiety, Sandy, money worries, deadlines).  Took on too much.

Everyone makes homeschooling look easy... Duke is a fast learner but I don't think I'm just teacher material.  I know, I know.  I've reinforced the theory that parents are every kid's first teacher and I truly believe it but I'm not made for creating curriculum, developing ideas and following through.  It is hard to stick to the plan of a homeschool day with a cute baby.  Duke and I would start off on schedule and then I'd have to stop teaching to feed Omar and then Duke would want to kiss and play with him.  How can I say no?  I got sucked into laying around with the baby too.  It's a wonder how we got any work done!

This much I know, I'm looking forward to Winter break.


NaBloPoMo November 2012

Labels: , ,

5 Comments:

At November 4, 2012 at 7:55 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

I completely broke down reading this. I totally understand this on a personal level. I get sympathize with the homeschooling & kids etc but I can empathize. I've had moments of lashing out then crying immediately after I've had moments of breaking down & wondering what the heck was I doing? Why did I do this to myself etc. girl I know this feeling all too well :-( your openness & honesty is refreshing. Thank you for being transparent.

 
At November 4, 2012 at 8:36 PM , Anonymous Robbie said...

I totally relate to taking on too much and the stress of financial issues. We've had a rough couple of years with lay offs, moves, commuter marriage etc. I've never home schooled...and I'm a teacher! ;) From what I know there are many great curriculums already out there...you just have to find them.

 
At November 5, 2012 at 1:39 PM , Anonymous Tonya @ The Traveling Praters said...

I understand completely. I have always homeschooled my kids and no, it is not always easy- especially during the times when life rears its head and it gets even more stressful. I started out as super homeschool mom- we did the neatest, coolest things. I was absolutely against workbooks and textbooks but with three kids so close in age, it was a bit hard to keep up. Now simplicity is key and the only way I can keep going. There are programs that don't require a lot of prep work. If you want to continue homeschooling, you may want to look at those options. If you need help, let me know. I may be able to give you some ideas. Also, as long as you're getting the basics done, you're probably fine if you take a few days here and there to enjoy the baby. They're only little once, you know. :) I hope you get the rest you need. I have a hard time keeping up on anything these days- and your plate certainly sounds full.

 
At November 6, 2012 at 3:44 PM , Blogger Mama Harris said...

I completely understand feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. We are all allowed days like that, and it's ok. You have always been a goal oriented person, so it's no surprise you would add a ton to your plate! It's ok, it's all about balance, and I'm hoping you're able to find it. :)<3

 
At November 8, 2012 at 11:50 AM , Anonymous Raquel said...

It is days like this that will make you stronger! I think as women many of us take on too much....then we stress ourselves out trying to do it all! Good luck with everything on your plate and I hope it gets better soon!

 

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