I took on too much this year.
And this week I finally crash and burned.
Today I accused Chris of sucking up the Internet and yelled at him to get off so I could take a Poli-Sci exam and then I cried something ridiculous. Babies don't even fake cry like I did. I don't even know wtf I was even crying for. He looked at me like I was crazy and I don't blame him. I calmed myself down, was a whole lot embarrassed to be so dramatic and attempted to take the exam and 10 questions in - I closed the tab. Me, all me. No one to blame but myself. And then I really cried. Tears and tears. Like wtf am I doing. Why did I do this to myself. TAKE ON SO MUCH.
Homeschooling, full-time college course load, blogging and event planning all together with running a family with a baby! Coupled with the fact that the NHL lockout is hurting us financially (Chris is only working part-time, I went on a one year leave of absence till September 2013) and the Holidays are looking grim. I just had enough of EVERYTHING (Election anxiety, Sandy, money worries, deadlines). Took on too much.
Everyone makes homeschooling look easy... Duke is a fast learner but I don't think I'm just teacher material. I know, I know. I've reinforced the theory that parents are every kid's first teacher and I truly believe it but I'm not made for creating curriculum, developing ideas and following through. It is hard to stick to the plan of a homeschool day with a cute baby. Duke and I would start off on schedule and then I'd have to stop teaching to feed Omar and then Duke would want to kiss and play with him. How can I say no? I got sucked into laying around with the baby too. It's a wonder how we got any work done!
This much I know, I'm looking forward to Winter break.
Labels: NaBloPoMo, SOC, Stream Of Consciousness Sunday